Week 4

Week 4 –

This week was a critical week. We read articles on effective journaling and how to effective journal as a tool for learning. I honestly feel that I write in this journal every week, and it is more of a inner reflection, and less of a teaching tool. I wonder how I will achieve this more advanced knowledge. Is it through continued practice? I still feel so uncomfortable in the mere thought of being on a Psychiatric unit – the unpredictability of it all. It is one thing to say that you are going to school to “be” a RPN, but once we “are” an RPN still fills me with anxiety. To add on this anxiety the aspect of journal writing, seems more stressful. I don’t want to go through the motions only, instead I want to be able to effectively reflect on the day, and discover the meaning behind the actions that are happening around me. I am very afraid that my journal will only record my mistakes, and that I will feel less inclined to record my successes.

In the assigned reading this week entitled, “Reflective Journaling as Assessment and Teaching”, the case studies discussed were developed from the nursing student in their final semester of learning. We are in the first semester of our learning, and so have to understand this and put the reading into a perspective of a new student. Instead of judging how I don’t measure up, I am concentrating this week on what I have to learn from them. How to effectively journal is not something that I can expect of myself to learn overnight, the nurses in the reading have completed many semesters, had many interactions with CS and professors, and in the end, still will continue to learn. How egotistical of me to think that I have to be perfect right away?

“Reflection allows the practitioner to methodically discover meaning and apply these insights in new and different situations” (Johns, C). It is a way of being, something that will come more easy when I learn to live in a constant state of reflection, learning and applying what I know. What I need to work on is to take the pressure off how I think I should be and instead just be myself. That is where I will truly learn and be free of this perfectionist burden to fully reflect on my journey.

References:

Johns, C. Reflective practice: Revealing the art of caring. Int J Nurs Pract. 2001;7(4):237-245.