Week 7

Week 7 –

Wow. Half way through the semester already. I have taken the time this week to look back over my journal entries, and really do some self-reflecting. I find myself a bit negative, concentrating on what I don’t know instead of praising what I have learned. I have learned a lot! I do find myself in a different state of mind than I did seven weeks ago. I am learning every day to be in a state of reflection, learning from my day to day activities, mistakes and successes and how to actively be aware of how they all are connected. Usually when I feel self doubt come on, I look on the articles that I have researched, reflecting on my own unique contribution to this course. I have insight, thoughts and skills that are gifts that I give to myself. I am not a LPN, nor am I actively involved in the health care field right now. What I am, though, is a student of learning how to be an RPN. Focussing on this has allowed be the freedom to fully learn. This concept alone has granted me the freedom to be more self-aware, something that I may have seen eventually, but in journaling every week, has enabled this to be even revealed to me now.

I expected this to be an arduous task. And it started out this way. I really disliked having to write down my thoughts, and struggled with “what was expected of me to say”. In seven short weeks, I have changed my thought pattern – to a place of retrospection and learning. Journaling has grounded me, has lessened the self doubt, and allowed me to embrace where I am at right now. This is what I have control over – the right now. It has been the key to unlock some of the fears that I had over clinical supervision, and has reiterated to me that when I come from a place of reflection, learning will naturally come.